I can't tell you how often I print an email, and have it run onto another page because of the disclaimer, Please consider the environment before you print this email.
Has anyone noticed that McDonalds has suddenly gotten much worse? I know McDonalds was never the place for a culinary experience par excellence. But recently (in Australia at least), instead of having burgers made and ready to go, they've switched to a system of preparing all food "fresh when you order". It sounds nice. What it actually means is that you order your food, then stand around with a lot of hungry, cross people waiting for burgers of haphazard contruction which, a lot of the time, aren't even what you ordered but you'll be goddamed if you're going to wait again. Listen, Maccas, no one visits you for quality food. People go to you because they're in a hurry, and because they want the same thing everytime. (Not - as happened to me yesterday - a Crispy Chicken Deluxe With Bacon that was without bacon, and with the salad falling outside the burger altogether). We can only hope that this experiment proves so unpopular - and juding by the looks on people's faces yesterday, it is - that it's soon abandoned entirely.
According to a recent study, today's teenagers are more "moral" than previous generations, having sex later and taking fewer drugs. Well of course they are! There are so many distractions for kids these days; they're all too busy Facebooking each other and buying tweenie-oriented products to have sex. Back in my day, we were all popping Es and f**king like bunnies because there was nothing else to do.