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Showing posts from September, 2006

Friday Folly Your Brains Out

It's a long weekend 'round the Xander and Nico way, so here's a batch of follies to keep you going until we return and you don't have to think for yourselves anymore.

From Overheard in New York: you try these one-liners!

Blockbuster getting really desperate for custom these days

The guys on the treadmills (for both the people who haven't seen it yet)

Engrish isn't limited to Japan

If like me, you are addicted to lip balm, help is here

Then no wonder people stayed virgins for longer back then

Truth in blogging...

Finally, classic Overheard at the beach to celebrate the approaching summer.

See you when I can be bothered getting up off the bean bag!

Let's Put This Behind Us

Being as how I'm too old, I never got to blog as a teenager. But imagine an adult's post, written by a teenager...

AAAGHH! I had the WORST day at work today. The day started badly because I looked in the paper and the prices of all my shares had dropped and I was sad :( So then I get to work and my boss was all, "Have you finished your preliminary budget report yet?" And I'm like "Yeah, yeah, I'm nearly finished! LAY OFF BITCH!" Went to cafe for lunch and had risotto which was yummy. But performance reviews are coming up and I am freaking!!! I hate this office, I can't wait till I'm more experienced then I can leave and go somewhere better they won't nag me all the time.

I went shopping for a bit. I bought a new pair of shoes. Even though it seems like my credit card statement yells at me when I buy new stuff. It was worth it they are SO gorgeous with a patent upper and great arch support. I looooove patent leather!!!

I miss all my friends.…

We Can All Be Greatful For The Silence

According to a recent news story, several prominent Australian musicians are refusing to go to Iraq to play for the troops there. Pete Murray, the Whitlams, and Augie March are amongst those who say they won't perform Christmas concerts for the troops in Iraq, as they don't agree with the war. Even Col Joye, an entertainment industry veteran who performed for the troops in Vietnam, refused to go to Iraq, saying, "Sooner or later you have to stand up and say what you think. In Vietnam, we didn't know any better." Meanwhile, the Defence Minister, Brendan Nelson, has chided the musicians for not being able to seperate the politics of the war from the sacrifices being made by the troops.

Well, it's not this story itself that's especially interesting. I won't describe the Australian contingent serving in Iraq as tokenistic (not this time, anyway) but there are only 450 Australian soldiers on the ground in Iraq at present. So the issue of providing entertain…

Give A Little, Get A Little

Well, eagle-eyed readers may have noticed we've had a slight face-lift around the Pod. I won't be doing another major overhaul for a while, but I did want to freshen the place up a bit. (Also, I've always wanted a userpic where I look rather aloof and mysterious).

So to mark the occasion, I'm borrowing an idea which I saw on another blog and just had to swipe for myself: ask me anything time! Put any questions (well, almost any questions) you have for us in the comments, and I'll post the answers on Thursday. Whether you want to know more about Xander and Nico, or you just want help with your homework, this is your chance.

A New Day Dawns...Much Too Early

Of all the things that have been annoying me lately, burglar alarms is the one really getting me into a lather.

Barely a week goes by that I'm not woken up at 4am at least one morning by an alarm in one of the commercial buildings nearby. It usually lasts at least an hour and destroys any chances of getting back to sleep (not least because the sound of the alarm sends my cat into a frenzy).

What on Earth is the point of having a security alarm on a property anyway? I doubt that it has every actually stopped a burglary. When was the last time you heard a security alarm and thought "Goodness me, there must be a break-in taking place. I must go at once and apprehend the scoundrel"? No, if you're like me, the only reaction you'll have is to scream "TURN OFF THAT FUCKING ALARM!" and pull a pillow over your ears in the vain hope of muffling the god-awful noise.

Or you might go one step further. I haven't seen any statistics on this, but I wouldn't be sup…

The Illustrated Guide To...

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SkittlesVodka!

"Hey Apu, have you got any of that beer with candy floating in it? You know - skittle brau?"
"No, but this is better!"

In time to get it ready for the weekend, here is my so-easy-a-drunk-could-do-it (which is kind of the point!) guide to making your own, fabulous...skittle vodka!

You will need a 700mL bottle of vodka and a 250gram (share-pack size) packet of skittles, another empty bottle, a funnel and a tea strainer.

Start by pouring out about 1/4 of the vodka, to make room for the skittles (you might at this stage want to do a quality-control taste test of the vodka). Then, put all of the skittles except for the green ones, into the bottle (the green skittles will turn the skittle vodka brown).



Then give the bottle a good shake to get the colours to mix, and leave it to stand. Over the next few hours, the skittles will slowly start to dissolve.

After three hours

Over the next two days, the skittles will dissolve, and the sugar will form a thick scum on th…

I Don't Know How Much Longer I Can Keep Complaining!

Well, I've had the weekend from hell.

Recently I decided the time has come to move house. Call me precious, but I've reached the stage in my life where I want a house that doesn't threaten to fall over every time I sneeze. So last week I put in an application for a place that's just perfect; affordable, quiet leafy street yet close to where things are happening, and best of all, only 50 metres from Boof and Funky's house! (For some reason, they're not so keen). But I haven't heard back from the real estate agent yet, and the place was advertised again on Saturday. *Sigh* Back to the search...

Then there was the football on Saturday night. Yikes. Watching the Knights get steam rolled 50-6 by the Broncos, the second-worst defeat in finals history, was a truly horrible experience. It was like an eighty-minute, slow-motion car crash you just couldn't stop looking at. All the commentators remarked how sorry they felt for the players. The players? It's all …

The Ten Point Plan For A Better Australia

From the "silly" files...Kim Beazley has copped a lot of flack from all sides for his proposal that everyone who visits Australia would have to agree on their visa application to respect Australian values whilst they are here. Merely obeying Australian laws is not enough. Tourists would also need to agree to show respect for women, tolerance and mateship.

Now, I do believe that those who wish to settle permanently in Australia need to make an effort to integrate and respect our way of life. But how does making visitors agree to this help us any? How would it work anyway? Nearly five million foreign visitors come to Australia each year. Who is going to monitor whether they're respecting Australian values? Imagine a situation where the "values police" board a tour bus and pull a guy off, saying to him, "Whilst in Australia, you've been keeping to yourself and not making friends with the rest of the tour group. You're not displaying 'mateship',…

2,996: A Tribute To Yvonne Kennedy

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Yvonne Kennedy, of Sydney, Australia, dedicated her life to helping those who needed her. She was volunteered for the Australian Red Cross between 1976 and 1990, for which she recieved the Australian Red Cross Service Award in 1986.

After her husband Barry passed away in 1990, Mrs Kennedy took up the role of NSW State Coordinator of the Voluntary Aid Service Corp (VASC) for the Australian Red Cross, recieving the service's State Distinguished Service Award on May 8, 2001. Shortly after, she retired aged 62, following 25 years of service to the Australian Red Cross.

Mrs Kennedy then took a well-earned retirement tour of the US and Canada. Whilst in North America she got to experience things she'd always wanted to do, such as white water rafting - "Pretty amazing for a 62 year old woman", as her son said at the memorial service. On Friday 7 September, she sent an email to a friend to let her know she was returning from "a wonderful trip".

On the morning of Tuesd…

Making Plans For O.J.

If you were greivously wronged...how far would you go to get some sort of justice? Recently Fred Goldman, the father of Ron, who was murdered along with Nicole Brown Simpson in 1994, filed a lawsuit seeking to gain O.J. Simpson's publicity rights, as Simpson has never paid the damages awarded against him in the wrongful death case.

Ostensibly, this is so Mr Goldman can receive the monies from O.J.'s public apppearances. But just think. If Mr Goldman wins the case, he could use O.J. Simpson's image for...anything.

If it were me, I wouldn't be able to resist the comedic possibilities of this. Nor the chance to get a little revenge. I'd start by putting O.J.'s face to a line of butcher's knives. Maybe launch the O.J. law firm, specialising in defending people accused of sex offences. The latest SUV, "The O.J." 100% guaranteed (as opposed to 90% guaranteed, for regular SUVs) to roll on sharp turns.

I wouldn't stop by making O.J. "endorse" u…

A Short Treatise On Compulsory Voting

(Or failing that, here's my misinformed rant, which you might as well read - do you really have anything that much better to do for the next ten minutes?)

In spite of the fact that "compulsory voting" may seem a contradiction in terms, I've always agreed with the principle. I think it was put most succinctly on The Glass House a few weeks ago, when an American comedian who was a guest that night said, "I can't believe you guys have compulsory voting over here. Tell me, is it true that if you don't vote, you get fined?"
And Dave Hughes replied, in his inimitable drawl, "Yeah, but if you guys don't vote, you get George W. Bush!" It was one of the funniest unscripted lines I think I've ever heard.

Lately, however, I'm starting to change my mind on the issue. The genesis of this came a few weeks ago, when some friends and I were returning along the freeway from a trip to the Central Coast. We were overtaken by half a dozen police cars…

The Last Night Out

On Saturday, the moment came; my last night out (for now, anyway). I'll get to that in a moment, but first I just have to tell you what a complete and utter wuss my cat is. Saturday morning I went to hang out the laundry, but the garden had several magpies flapping ominously about, so I decided to take Xander out with me to scare them away.

It certainly was scary...for Xander, who got within a metre of a magpie that weighed maybe half a kilo, let out a yelp of fear, and sprinted back into the house. Some knight in shining fur he is!

*****

So what made me decide that there would be a "last night out"? I think I've just reached that stage. The Zelda Fitzgerald who vowed in 1998 to let the good times roll has now turned into a model of temperance. I'm just tired is all, and having fun isn't much fun anymore.

Anyway, it wasn't a bad night. It wasn't an especially good one either. I went to The Crypt, the club which has replaced Necro, solely because I wanted …

Thank God It's The Friday Follies!

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Well, my posting hasn't been so great this week. I've just been too busy and too tired to construct coherent political arguments. But I can always find follies.

I bet it wasn't as hard as trying to teach me to drive

Another stirring message from Bush

The Chaser's war on short cab fares

The Glass House brings you The Costello collection!

(Two vids in one week. I'm sorry.)

Interpreting foreign business gestures

The Chinese government's altest act of heavy handedness has been to ban strippers at funerals. What I found really funny about this is that the ad above the story reads "find your perfect job". Well it would be a great job wouldn't it? You'd never have to worry about lewd cat calls, nor that you'd later bump into the punter whilst out shopping with your mother.

And lastly, the lighter side of gender inequality...

Yeah, yeah, I know it's sexist. But come on, admit it. You laughed.

Enjoy your weekend. Unless you have better alcohol than me.…