We've all had one of "those" days. But have you ever had one of "those" evenings? That's what happened to me last night.
It began after dinner. I wasn't feeling very happy because I haven't heard from someone in days (okay, you've lost your phone, can you reply to your emails?) but prepared to cheer up in front of The Simpsons. However, as usual, Channel 10 switched the programming around so no Simpsons. Okay, I thought, I'll just put a DVD on. Which I did...to discover my DVD player isn't working. The picture jumps around in the manner of a distorted video cassette. I tried several discs, but they all had the same problem. This was not good news. Now, for someone who has the internet, or pay TV, or at least lives with other people they can talk to, the DVD player not working is a bit of a pain; for me without any of those things, it's little short of a disaster. The light in my house is too dim, and my eyesight too poor, to make reading for any length of time feasible; watching some of my huge and rapidly growing collection of DVDs is all I have.
However, there was one solution, though not an immediate one: when my mother bought me the player, she paid extra for an extended warranty, which is still valid. I still had the warranty card, didn't I? Yes, I remembered where it was...in the box the DVD player came in...which I kept in my house for over a year, until I threw it away in a cleaning spree a few weeks ago. My frustration became audible at this point: "Ahhhh....craaaaaap ." I then called my mother, as much to comiserate with someone as anything else, only to have the call cut out after a couple of minutes. Yep, apparently I was out of credit. How was that possible? I've hardly used the phone this month. On top of everything else, I was now incommunicado for the evening.
There's only one thing to do in a situation like this. Turn to religion. "God, I need a drink!" There was an in-case-of-emergency six pack of pre-mix vodka in the back of my pantry. At least I thought there was. But apparently Xander has been sneaking drinks when I'm not home, because the six pack wasn't there (at least he must be taking the empties out when he's done).
So I was forced to watch the crappy offerings of free TV...sober. I even ended up having to watch Rove Live (for international viewers, Rove is a hard hitting interviewer who asks thoughtful, probing questions of his celebrity interviewees, interspersed with insightful and humorous social commentary. And if you believe this, I have a lovely bridge across Sydney Harbor I'd like to sell you. No, Rove Live is the TV equivalent of a commercial radio station's zany drive-time team).
Eventually it got to 10:30pm, and whilst I never go to bed early (if I'm very tired, I'll have an afternoon nap) I figured that this time - especially considering how cold it was - I might as well. Just as I was drifting off, I was awoken by an horrendous whoop! whoop! whoop!. A security alarm had been activated in one of the shops down the road. I had to laugh - the perfect end to a perfect night. However, as the alarm kept whooping until it was finally shut off around 1am, I did make an attempt to smother myself with my pillow, but of course nothing else had gone right for me, and that didn't either (obviously, or you wouldn't be reading this post).
I know I said I'd be posting about politics, but who cares about the problems of the world, when I had a crappy evening?!?