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Showing posts from October, 2004

The Australian Political Dictionary

Courtesy of The Chaser

Address in Reply - The opportunity for the Opposition Leader to pretend that he has substantial policies to put forward, even though modern politics demand that he doesn't.

Backbencher - Someone who badly wants to be a minister.

Bicameral - Refers to the system of having two Houses. Used by the Commonwealth for parlaiment and Helen Coonan for tax evasion.

Cabinet Solidarity - The convention that ensures the total lack of solidarity between Ministers is only revealed to the public by incessant leaks.

Censure motion - A motion which confirms that a Minister who's been caught in a clear case of wrongdoing has gotten away with it.

Conscience vote - A free vote where a majority of politicians decide that their conscience dictates that they toe the party line.

Cross the floor - What Andrew Bartlett does when the Liberals stash all the good booze.

Executive - The arm of government dedicated to implementing the policies demanded by the nation's business executives.

F…

Election 2004 Hangover

What words can be used to describe how I feel right now?

Devastated. Inconsolable. Gutted.

Sitting in an internet cafe bawling, and I can't help it.

An increased majority. Not just that. Control of the Senate. Can anyone remember that before?

Last night, as the news came through, I kept up a pleasant face because I didn't want to spoil Brooke's birthday (otherwise a great night; I'll tell you about it when I calm down). But this morning, listening to the radio I just couldn't help myself, startling my cat by punching the wall and sobbing. I just wanted Labor to win so badly. I want to go to the house of every person who voted Liberal, shake them and ask WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? For once I just wanted us stiffs to get a break. I want to yell at everyone else in the boiler room here, who are playing games as if everything was okay.

Goodbye Xander. When their winter is over, I'll be looking for the number for Aer Lingus.

Election Day 2004

Let's get right down to it.

I am so worried I feel almost ill.

Three more years? Peter Costello PM? Unbearable. I am handing out how to vote cards this afternoon for Jill Hall, sitting ALP member for Shortland. This is a safe Labor seat, but I have to do something.

Look, I feel so strongly about this. Dole diaries? Pre-emptive strikes? Mandatory detention? I confess I have become ashamed of my adoptive homeland. So much so, that if the Coalition gets back in, I will most likely move back to Ireland.

This will be an enormous wrench. Leaving behind the city I adore, where I have almost everything to stay for. My friends, my beaches, sour fruit roll-ups, I'd abandon them all, to go somewhere cold that I've spent barely a month in since we emigrated in '81? Yes I would do this. I just couldn't live with myself otherwise.


The Soundtrack of My Life

This took awhile. These are not just songs I like; they had to mean something to me to make the cut.

You Am I - Heavy Heart

Nirvana - Well, anything by them

Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Sikamicanico

INXS - Don't Change

Local H - Bound For The Floor

Porno For Pyros - Tahitian Moon

REM - The Great Beyond

Big Audio Dynamite - Rush

Cordrazine - Memorial Drive

Elton John - Song For Guy

Soundgarden - Blow Up The Outside World

The Tea Party - Halcyon Days

Supergrass - Moving

Alex Lloyd - Lucky Star

Jeff Buckley - Dream Brother

Jimmy Cliff - I Can See Clearly Now

Elliot Smith - Waltz No.2

Hole - Violet

Sant-Sens - Danse Macabre

Nick Cave - (Are You) The One That I've Been Waiting For?

Blur - To The End

I could go on and on. But it looks like we might have made it to the end of this list.

On (Hating) Camping

So I agreed to go camping. I don't know why. I have a lot of emotional problems. But camping? My idea of travel is where they fluff your pillows, smooth out your towels, and recommend a wine to accompany madam's entree. But somehow I found myself sleeping on a mattress in the back of a station wagon (there was no room in the tents) at the Allyn River north of Newcastle.

Anyway, I kept a diary, so you can see how the whole thing turned out...

Thursday Night

I've just set my alarm for 6am. This has to be the worst idea anybody ever had. And now I have to pack. I HATE packing. I haven't moved house in five years for a reason.

Friday Afternoon

Well here we are at the lovely Allyn River. The journey began at an hour when surely no decent human being would be awake. Boof & I went in the station wagon, Funky and the Nanny in a 4WD. Both vehicles were packed...To think that when we were 19, five of us would go camping with all our gear in a hatchback. Well, the older you get, t…